| Well...Well...Well.... |
[May. 24th, 2006|10:58 pm] |
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I got me a job, i'm pretty excited about it. Hope I can make lots of money, cuz I got some things to handle. Hmmm my siginificant other we'll call him has finally decided to add me as a friend. Funny, wounder what finally made him do it? but don't really care. He can take me off his friends list for all i care anyways off for now. |
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| Pretty much just anouther day |
[Apr. 11th, 2006|08:12 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blah | ] |
| [ | music |
| | nothingness | ] |
Not a whole lot to talk about, my son is getting big and even more handsome. nothing new there lol! The other day i took him for a walk and he had all types of girls smiling and talking to him it was funny but hes way toooooo young. It's so funny how he bats his eyes at girls and smiles, like he flirting, I've been told he was. Ummm in other news..... wells theres not much other news so blah blah..... blah blah blah,, blah!!!!!:) have a good day |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 31st, 2006|07:32 am] |
Well i really don't have much to say i really don't have much to talk about now. Things are better between me and the hubby for now at least. There are some things i would like to talk about in my marriage but seeing how HOES like Katie like to read my shit see me and my husband are having problems and then go and fuck with him, so i'll just leave thoes to myself or on lock down. Although it don't really matter though because he wants to be with me, the only reason he really hooked up with that piece of trash is because... well if u read my LJ u can figure it out. shall i say EASY ASS! and leave it at that? I think so. I wouldn't want her to read this and breakdown crying but hey then again she brought it on herself Oh well I say. NE ways moving on to a BETTER subject like NOTHING! I need to figure out how to lock entries for the reasons explained earlier. Also if anyone has a comment or response please feel free, don't worrie I'am a grown woman and will not change journals, lock them or any of that shit. Everyone is entitled to their own opinoin, just best believe i will too probaly respond back. But in later news my son is doing great, although he tries to do what he wants to when he wants to u know how that goes.
Ummm I went to Champaign for my birthday it was kew. My girl did everything she could to make sure i had a good time, and i did although we didn't quite make it out to the clubs, but thats ok. She had like a 5th of Desarouni (how ever u spell it) a case of cerbeza and man so much more it was great. For some reason my hubby didn't want me to go, he said he wanted to spend my b-day with me. So i went down there the day before me b-day and kicked it, and was back in time to hangout all day and night on my b-day but did we do anything? nope not a dam thing just like i thought. Thats why i wanted to go to champaign soooooo bad, cuz i thought that shit would happen, if i stayed here then i would have been staring at the dam walls on my 21st and i didn't want to do that. Although I did ne ways cuz i came back to be with him on my b-day and we just sat around, staring at the walls. What fun let me tell u, ended up going to bed early. Although he did have fun, he stayed up all night and morning with one of his friends playing games, hoped he enjoyed himself. Thats real fucked up considering what i did for him on his b-day despite all the problems we had and what he did. but oh well right! and our anniversary that was ok, personal i would kinda say it sucked ass to but i guess he did the best he could with what he had which made that day a little better than my b-day but not much oh well, yeah and there a mind need to get off that depressing subject. Hopefully next year will be much better. Probaly have to hangout with friends again oh well they are ALWAYS there for me. Yeah my girls got me some cards and they are soo sweet, althouh i was a little drunk when i got them and had trouble reading them but hey at least they got me one, shows caring. I love my friends they are soo great. Just wish I could find someone here cool to hangout with... a friend. I had one michael introduced us, she was pretty cool, she was kinda like a prep wich i don't like but she was cool. But then michael did me bogus and some shit happened and he ran his mouth and now i guess she hates me. but oh well cuz i'm sure she just listened to his one sided story and then took his side. But oh well she was cool but really a good friend would have listened to both sides and still been there.guess she wasn't a good a friend as i thought but she was cool to hang out with. Now i need a new friend.
But every girl i meet and is cool with something happens like they move, or start acting weird, say they gonna hit u up and don't ever. Or they try to fuck ur man behind ur back, maybe i'm better off not having any friends here since they all turn out to be on bullshit anyways. Well one of my friends here we just keep loosing track of each other but we always run into each other. She is really cool. I met her at school. Oh how i miss my friends sooo much. Gotta get back to the ones who care the most. later |
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| Just a lil update! |
[Mar. 24th, 2006|12:18 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  anxious | ] |
Well a lot has happened since my last post.And I was right! he missed me so much, he told me the whole time how much he loved me and missed me Can't believe he hooked up with that retarded blond girl, but Guess thats the only thing he had to go to when I told him it was over. Oh well I would like to say KARMA IS GREAT no good bitches get what they deserve! like her for instances:)ne ways we are back together and he is glad! I know he is has to be glad to have droped that retard, at least that what he tells me in so many words. To bad she had to be a bitch and loose a friend or what could have benn a couple of them well g2g for now later |
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| update |
[Nov. 9th, 2005|05:48 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  calm | ] |
Well lets see today and the past couple of days have been ok,but he's also been out of town though. Do u think that could have anything to do with it? He said and acted big time that he missed me. He was being real sweet, and i wounder if he realized how nice and sweet (as usual) i was being. It's weird how he misses me when hes not around me for a long time. Wounder how hes gonna feel when it's over. Due to his shelfish ways. I guess it's true men do miss a good thing when it's gone My son got a hair cut, he looks soooo cute, but of course hes mine :)lol. He looks a lil different to i think, it changes his look a bit. Things are a lil better 4now i guess!? i dunno. I can't wait till things are better, really better. well g2g 4 now holllaaa!!! |
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| Im not dumb!, At least i don't think |
[Nov. 4th, 2005|12:08 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  drained | ] |
If u just read my last post and any before it, and put two and two together about things i have said, would u wanna be married to someone like that? Plus all the other stuff u know that i don't and stuff that i have not even said. Plz respond to this one who ever reads it! even if u disagree. |
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| Anouther Spoiled Day |
[Nov. 3rd, 2005|11:30 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  annoyed | ] |
I had the day off today, it was all good untill i got home. Them my B>D started acting like a total dick head. I don't know why he had one of his lady friends keeping him company for a couple of hours.He didn't even seem to care that i was like 3 hours late coming home, but then again thats about how long they were on the phone. I wounder if he just got off the phone as i was coming in?? I can only imagine what they were talking about, and doing. Considering he never talks to her that long, or well at least not when i'm around. Plus not to mention he has a couple of nudeity pictures of her to, and he wants me to be his wife. I can only imagine why he keeps thoes pictures and talks to her for hours at a time. Plus from what hes told me about her i know shes that way, and i know him. I mean why else would he have them. Plus there are a couple of other things, like they were gonna hook up back in the day maybe they did, who knows? not me! I think theres some sexual talk goin on through them 3 and 4 hour eairly morning talks especialy since he hates getting up. And he wants me to be his wife and be ok with this. How would he feel if i had naked pics of my guy friends that i still talk to. Even though i said i would get rid of them. yep thats what he told me he was gonna get rid of them but still hasn't. Whats really up with that. Tells me hes gonna get rid of them, and he don't talk to the other one any more but come to find out there all lies. He looks at thoes nude pics when ever he talks to that one friend for hours and calls the other one up and gives her his work schedule and tells her when hes coming to town. He don't wait till he gets to town, he gives her like a few days notice or more, but what ever and he really don't see why things ain't working out. Do u really think i wanna be someones wife who acts like this does shit like this. And he wonders why i never wanna have sex with him. I have put up with his shit long enough. All the time he went out and said he'd be right back and never came right back, i wasn't bitchy. All the times he told me he was out with a guy friend and it was a female. Never being there for me when i needed him most! Talking to me like nobody. Plus a whole lot of other shit. And he wants me to be his wife, yeah right it would take a lot for us to be together again. But i don't think that could be cuz i'm not gonna let him walk all over me again. I'm ur wife so respect me, don't have nude pics of ur female friends, don't keep friends in ur life that talk shit, and don't like ur wife 4 no reason. Don't be starin up ur wife's friends or any other girls skirts, especialy if i'm there. And don't talk to ur wife like shes some bitch. So disrespectful. Even if she acting like one. I think any man who truely loves his wife would not talk to her like that on a daily bases, because he loves her,and respects her! I'm just so fed up! |
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| Just anouther day! |
[Nov. 2nd, 2005|10:19 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | aggravated | ] |
So i guess u can say today was alright, but not really i still had to put up with the same bullshit i usually do. No matter how much iw want it to work, it just ain't. I can't wait untill the least is up, then he can have as much 4 and 5 in the fucking morning contact with all his shady friends. Some of them are cool but not many, then again he hides a lot of them from me, especially if their FEMALES! who talk shit about me or don't like me for no reason. But whatever if he wants to throw his marriage away on trash like that then so be it! I won't stand in his way. I gotta figure out what I'm gonna do, theres like three months left here and i definately don't want to stay in this town IT SUCKS need to get closer to the paign. Then again maybe i'll go back to terrible haute, well if i go back to terre haute them we mos.def. will not be together. NOPE! can't be with a man who acts like friends are more important tban family. Especialy friends that be up to no good. Also can't have a man who has a secret life, find out that he's been with girls all night long and eairly in the morning when u HATE getting up eairly. Don't need a man like that. If u have to keep ur "FEMALE" "FRIENDS" a "SECRET" from ur wife than u obviously don't care about her and how she feels, or u don't know how to treat a woman u love! maybe both! well all i can say is that I"m tired of all the shit. Also i think i'm depressed really bad and my so called husband don't try to make things any better even though he could if he wanted to. Oh wow look his lil buddy is im him. I wounder if he has plans with her for next time he goes down there? probaly and of not then he will he loves her, always doin what she asks even if it is disrespectful to his own wife! what a friend right! yep and what a husband. I sure do know how to pick em right? lol I wish i did life would be so much better! well untill next time "Be strong and wise, don't let people walk all over u ever!" Help me somebody please! |
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| Life sucks! |
[Oct. 29th, 2005|10:22 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
I really need to get out. "HELP ME" somebody PLEASE! well I see i still have no friends here but thats ok because i really wasn't looking for any, although i did think for some reason my own dam husband would of added me as a friend, but i guess not. He already has is friends and i see i'm not one of them (lovely) but thats ok. it's strange how things work themselfs out. I just really can't believe some of the shit he does and how he acts, but he wants me to be a wife that kisses his ass. I can't wait till we go our seperate ways cuz, the more i stay with him and try to be a loving caring wife it blows the FUCK UP in my face and hurts me. And it's like he don't give a fuck as long as he keeps his FRIENDS happy. I need to find someone who wants to make me happy first not their friends. U see a lot of times friends come and go so if u find someone u really love u should do EVERYTHING in your power to keep them before their long gone! Cuz if and when ur friend finds that special someone I bet they will do eveything in their power to keep them. "Theres no better love than the love you can count on ALWAYS!" Well time really does reveal people and their character. I can't wait untill things start lookin up for me relationship wise. Everthing else is great! I need a caring and sensitive man! I see he really does want me to leave him, I can't take anymore it's mad kaos. well untill next time "keep the ones u love close,so u don't loose them forever!" |
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| feelin swell u could say |
[Oct. 27th, 2005|08:42 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  uncomfortable | ] |
Today was ok. My husband came back and he was all acting like he wanted things to work out between us. Weird cuz while he was gone he was acting like he was busy with some other girl or something. Not answering my calls when he said he was near the phone, not calling me back untill late, and then when he did answer he was short everytime! he usualy talks longer than that even when theres nothing to talk about. Hes seems to be acting more like a husband now at least being nicer and sweeter. Well all i can say is i hope hes not using me in anyway. I hope he stops all the bullshit with being around other girls when i'm not around all the time, and i hope he stops talkin to thoes girls i asked him to. Hopefly hes not hiding any shit from me like that cuz its not good news.He seems to have met a lot of girls down here, and hasn't told me about anyof them. He talks to them, i know he sees them too. I just hope its only at work. Although he has had girls over here when i go to work, and only when i go to work. I mean how would he feel if he found out i was seeing my ex everytime i went to work,or got off. I wish we could go back to the first day we met, i would mos. def. just of stayed friends. The truth is i wish we were just friends cuz being with him HURTS BAD! finding out all well no not all i know theres a lot of shit i don't know but finding out the shit i did hurt me so bad. I actualy thought when he said "i ment everything to him, and he just wanted to make me happy" was true. I guess it was as long as he could still keep his little female friends on the side and hang out with then when a married man should be at home with his wife. I can't believe All thoes nights i sat up crying, alone, waiting for him to get home he was actualy out with other girls some of the time. Coming home at 3 and 4 in the morning. Not to mention that he would be gone sometimes when i woke up, and if he wasn't then he slept untill he had to go to work. It's all just so depressing, and he says hes always alone. Well maybe i just got so use to being alone all that time that now i'm used to being alone, even with a partner! sounds strange huh? well can't think of a better reason. I was ALWAYS there when ever he needed me, and if i wasn't there he knew where i was ans that i would be there in a quick min. He would go on a lil 5 maybe 10 min run with a friend and that would turn in to at least an hour or more. Always callin say somethin else came up, so now it's gonna be even longer that the third time he called me. But whatever and now he wants me to jump when he says. If i'm not back when i say i'll be back we will be argueing. I just don't know how this is gonna work and he wants us to act like were married. I think he probaly wants me to go back to the way i was when he did what ever when ever and how ever he wanted to, with no questions or anything from me, just hugs and kisses lots of love and "what do u want hunny?" but nope can't do that no more i see what this married man does with his freedom! well gettin tired need to rest Great Day All!!! |
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| Why does it have to be this way??? |
[Oct. 24th, 2005|10:17 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Something to help sooth the mood | ] |
Today was ok, hes been out of town. I think he is up to something but i'm not sure. He's been acting strangeeeeee. Why do men have to take good women for granted? well i guess some of them choose not to see that they have a good woman right in front of them, but i don't know about the others. I guess some of them or just plain STUPID! I have no idea what i'm gonna do. I need to get up on my feet "higher" than i already am. I believe i'm a strong person inside, under all the pain,stress depression,and problems at least i hope, if not i might be in trouble!lol Also I would like to state for the record that what eve said about "love is blind, and it will take over your mind, what* u think is love is truley not...!" is very true! Although i do know he loved me somewhat, just not sure how much, and if it was ever true,deep and passionately. ^err* well i see it really is gonna end mos def. so what am i to do, the bills he pays here are in my name and they are just.....???? lets just say fucking up my credit! and if i were to stay here i won't have power or gas and shit cuz i won't have the money to get that shit caught up and he will probaly be no help like the last time. yep left me! *his wife* with like 1,000 in bills with less than 3 weeks to come up with it all, and no job just got laid off! no food or anything. And it gets worse OH yeah but i'm not gonna go there cuz i'm already in tears that are drowning me:(::::::::::::::::: like cRaZy*"#$%@!! see em? :(::::::: How could i have let this happen? well I just hope I can raise my son to never make a woman feel like this cuz it hurts so baddddd, and its so not healthy for the body or the spirit! well thats all for now. Hopefly sometime soon I can report a good, happy day! but untill then i can just PRAY things get better! |
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| Dam good for nothing Fucked over again! |
[Oct. 21st, 2005|11:36 pm] |
HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO ME???
things haven't changed much. I really can't be his girl no matter how much i want to be, or how much i want it to work out. He is a man of many secrets and women,even though he hasn't done anything with them, (or so he says) and not much respect for his wife. I just don't see how a man who says he loves me more than anything and wants to be with me could be talkin to other girls, going and seeing other girls behind my back at like 5and6 in the dam morning. Meet new girls and exchanging numbers, fuckin enter ONLINE DATING SITES and shit, tellin all thoes girls hes not fucking married hes divorced and other shit, yep he tells the girls the same stuff at work or well at least some of them. I bet it's the ones he exchanges numbers with or WHATEVER. Well thats just a few of the reasons it's OVER! I seriously can't take this maNS SHIT i mean u say u wanna be with me but be 4 real i don't think he would be doing any of that shit IF U REALLY WANTED TO BE WITH ME. He would be doing what ever it took, but i see thats not really what he wants. U wanna fuckin tell people were divorced then so be it IT'S OVER! i seriously don't think he wants to be with me at all! I feel he just don't give a dam. always tell ppl what i do wrong but not what he does wrong. Well at least the wrong stuff i did is not what tore apart and ended this marriage! |
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| Just anouther sad day! Don't know what to do anymore |
[Oct. 19th, 2005|06:56 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | aggravated | ] |
I think or at least I got my husbands like gay ass girlFRIEND to get off his shit although it don't really matter i think she may finally be over him but then again probably not, well me 2! What kind of a husband puts other girls before his wife? One that don't give a dam obviously! he say he loves me and wants to be with me but he goes over to girls houses that be tryin to get with him and talk shit about me around 5 in the morning and he lies to me about it or just keeps it from me. Oh well if he wants to loose the best thing that ever happened to him be my guest. today he woke up out of his sleep calling me all out my name like hes crazy. well actually i think he might be or well then again maybe just fuckin selfish. he says he quit talkin to her but i know better hes a lier. it just weird because when we 1st got married he use to tell me how she was REALLY annoying and shit. how her voice annoyed him so he couldn't talk to her that long and she was really dumb! thats why he never hooked up with her supposably. and recently like last week he was all say shit like are u worried about some fat ugly girl takin me?" he use to talk all kinds of mad shit about her. maybe that was just a front so i wouldn't see the truth. oh well what ever it was i hope he's happy with the consequences! |
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| marriage |
[Oct. 19th, 2005|12:14 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | very sad | ] |
| [ | music |
| | sad and depressing | ] |
I was wondering if anyone is married or has been married? there are a few questions i would like to ask anyone who was or is in a situation like that. Why do men have to break your heart so much when you've done nothing but basically kiss their ass. Is the saying "ALL MEN ARE DOGS" true? i'd like to think not but maybe they all are i hope not i like to think that there is a nice guy out there for me somewhere who will love me the way i deserve to be loved. |
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| New 2 da journal |
[Oct. 19th, 2005|12:03 am] |
Hi all, this is my first entry and i really don't know what to say. I'm up for meeting new people so hit me up lol we'll gonna check out what else i can do here |
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